INTRODUCTION

Read it. Be quick about it. Then continue...

Hate Hate Hate

I cant stop laughing at this picture...

Ewwwwwwwwww!

America has fallen so low. When will we be the prideful and proud once again?.

Love us some smokin' Hot Teachers

Here is some information about a new trend that we, as a nation, should embrace.

It's is about time we, as a nation, stand up and say together... get the FUCK out!!!

America Hates Kassie Dill.

Friday, August 24, 2012

How To Road Trip Like A MAN




In my lifetime, I have been everywhere. I have been to more countries than I can actively remember at any one time. I have been to almost every state, sans Alaska and Maine. And many of my experiences started off much like everyone else’s, with a road trip. Now I, like most people, have spent their fair share of time on road trips. I honestly don’t know how many. I would say I have been on over 100 though. Easily.

What I constitute as a road trip is anything over a 2 or 3 hour drive. When I was younger, perhaps a 20+ hour drive would have been more accurate. But, you can define them anyway you want. That is not why we are here. Every time I am involved in a road trip, there seems to be certain specific behaviors that always accompany a road trip. So I have decided to make a Man’s list of rules and a guide to road trips. I don’t know if there are other guides, nor do I care, because I’m only interested in the parts that piss me off. So let’s get this voyage underway. Feel free to add anything’s I missed in the comments. 
I think some basic rules should start us off. A basic definition of rules that can apply to any road trip. Then we can nitpick incidentals.  Also, I will refer to drivers as “he” not to be sexist, but because it makes writing this easier and men usually drive on road trips anyway. Sorry ladies but you (most of you) lack the long-term focus and mental endurance required for such events. Here we go.

1) If you aren’t driving, then shut the fuck up.

NO ONE can tolerate a person that back-seat drives, especially on a road trip. Seriously, just shut up. The only time you should be talking is if you are engaging the driver for his enjoyment. If he wants to have a conversation, then ok. But only if he asks for it and only if it isn’t boring. The driver (more often than not) will usually drive the entire distance for whatever reason. Therefore, every passenger has the job of making the driver’s job as easy as possible. At least in theory. Let me clarify here. You can talk, and you should, as long as it is interesting and not back-seat driving. If the driver talks to you about something, engage him. He is bored and wants to entertain himself in one of the few ways he can. Chances are, if he is anything like me, that I will be talking about some bad ass stuff. Which brings me to my next rule….

2) The driver gets full control of the radio while driving, NO EXCEPTIONS.

Because he has the sucky job. He has to drive without being able to relax, eat, watch a movie on his phone or tablet, without pissing, sleeping or being able to do anything. All the driver has is the radio. So he gets to listen to whatever the fuck he wants be it NPR, rap, or death metal. If you disagree, the only way you can alter this is by driving the vehicle yourself or if the driver TEMPORARILLY relinquishes control to a person of his choosing. Under no circumstances is a driver ever allowed to ever give up full control of the radio, even with verbal or written permission. Also, in cases where iPods are connected to the car, the person sitting shotgun automatically assumes duty of finding music for the driver, at the drivers will. Anytime a specific song needs to be found, the person sitting shotgun will do it immediately.
This also applies to the air conditioner. The driver gets full control because his comfort is the most important. He can’t jump up and throw a sweater on or take his hoodie off. So whatever temperature he likes, it will stay and everyone else will adjust as they see fit.

3) Don’t be a sucky passenger.

NOTHING is worse to a driver than a car full of lames. Even if it is your family. Because when everyone else is sleeping, the driver is forced to turn down the radio, which makes him sleepy. So wake the fuck up unless you can sleep through the radio blaring. Talk to him, engage him but don’t sleep the whole way. It is rude as hell and pisses off the driver every single time. Seriously, when he looks at you sleeping, all he can think is something similar to “Must be nice to be able to sleep the WHOLE FUCKING TRIP away. I wish I could but no, I have to drive. “Although Real Men usually sound much less bitchy, even in their head. The only real exception to this rule is if you are going to drive for a long time later on. Then you can sleep.

4) If the trip is over 5 hours, then split the time.

One of you can drive there and one can drive back. Or half each way. But don’t be the typical leech and let one person drive the entire distance both ways. That is not cool. I don’t care what the driver says, that shit sucks. Especially if you are going across the South West across Arizona and New Mexico, or if you are going up the East Coast because both of those drives are like torture. I would rather be water boarded than to have to drive through those places again.

5) Do not tell the driver about your shortcut.

This is more of a rule for the drivers. If you listen to your dipshit friends and wind up in some The Hills Have Eyes situation, then it is your fault. You should have a GPS by now. It’s fucking 2012 for God’s sake. One of the devices you have has GPS. Buy it. Can’t afford a GPS or GPS app? Then you shouldn’t be able to afford a road trip. And good luck reading a map. I think the last generation that learned how to read maps is mine so good luck trying to wing that if you are in a pinch.

6) Pitch in on gas, even if the driver doesn’t ask.

Seriously one of the most overlooked things. Everyone should pay equal parts for gas (excluding that friend you always bring that is too “broke” to even help out but is too much fun not to bring along). Nothing ruins a trip for a person like having to pay for everything and having no one offer to help. Again, if that is you, fuck you, from the bottom of my heart. Some pussies might not, but I will most assuredly fuck you over in some majorly significant way if you do this to me.

7) Don’t overcrowd the car. 

I shouldn’t even have to say this but I did anyway. Got a car that holds 5 but have 6 friends that want to go? Too bad. One has to go. I won’t tell you how to figure that out but usually there is one sucky friend per group that can easily be excluded. Don’t have a friend like that? Well, then it is probably you.

 8) No complaining, whining, bitching, mumbling, or anything. PERIOD.

That goes for anything. Temperature, song, length of trip, bugs on the windshield, and especially traffic. Because if you are complaining about it, the driver is probably fully aware of it so it sucks for him too AND he has to drive in it/with it etc. Pointing it out again just makes the trip even worse.

9) SLEEP!

Don’t be a hero. And don’t drive longer than 10 hours. If the other passengers want to keep going, let those selfish assholes take over. There are few things in the world more tragic then when a person kills another person or themselves because they were tired and kept driving. Talk about unnecessary.  Pull over, take a nap or get a hotel. If anyone wines about it AND refuses to drive, that person is automatically entitled to one stomach kick for every complaint. Other things that may be substituted for a stomach kick, at the driver’s discretion:
-An open handed bitch slap
-A kick in the balls
-A throat punch
-A rear-naked choke until unconsciousness is achieved
-1 free cock-blocking move to be used to embarrass said perpetrator at the driver’s discretion (limit one per day).
-1 tank of gas
-A small, but scar-creating cut to the face
-A hammerfist while the hitter wears a large, class-ring sized pinky ring.

Ok, now here are a few general, situational only rules.

-If you are traveling with friends in your car, the passengers must keep the car clean. Being on a road trip doesn’t entitle you to being a slob. If you get fast food, don’t wipe your hands on the seats, and don’t leave trash everywhere. Because if you wipe grease on my leather seats, I will kick you the fuck out and you WILL walk. Friend or not. Actually, I will get you drunk, and let a transgender prostitute blow you, then I will post pics of that on Facebook and email your entire contacts list on every account you have. For real.

-If you are traveling far with only your significant other, and the trip lasts longer than 3 hours, she should give you road head. For those of you that are unfamiliar with the term (I feel sorry for you), road head is where you fellate the male driver of the car, while driving, in order to recharge his batteries for the rest of the trip. Much like most acts involving a man getting sexual gratification from a woman, it doesn’t come without a price. In exchange for fellating you, the assumption is that she just bought herself a “get-out-of-driving” card. Sadly, that is true unless the trip lasts longer than 8 hours. Then it is time to renegotiate that contract.

-If you are traveling with buddies, you are obliged to stop at any odd tourist attraction that you happen to stumble across, regardless of how ridiculous. Because you may never get to see the World’s Largest Pecan (or insert any other word and I am sure that exists somewhere) ever again. Seriously, you are already there anyway so just go see it for a few minutes. I guarantee it will be one of the biggest talking points of the whole trip. 

-This should go without saying, but since we live in the generation where auto-shop class is no longer taught and men would rather call AAA rather than risk getting their Swag dirty, nothing surprises me. At least one person should have a basic knowledge of car maintenance and how to fix things. At least how to change a tire and what to do if your car overheats. I mean, every man in the car SHOULD know how to do all that shit already, but in case you are a pussy who hangs out with other pussies, look into it. It helps. If you really want to know how shame feels, have 5 guys call a guy to come change your tire. The MAN that comes to change it will ensure that you will never mistake yourself for being a man ever again.

Don’t do anything awkward. Especially something that will make the trip uncomfortable like pulling your dick out or saying something extremely inappropriate. You are all stuck in this together, like it or not. So doing something like that should be reserved for when you can get away from each other if you have to. Nothing is shittier than spending a 10 hour road trip in awkward silence. The trip never recovers.

Well, I can’t think of anymore right now so feel free to add yours in the comment section. I hope this answered some of your questions about how a good road trip should function. If not, ask me in the comments. I just want to say that road trips suck for everyone, mostly the driver. So the goal is to make his trip comfortable so that it is enjoyable for everyone later.  So often is the driver overlooked and ignored. He is like a bus driver that takes verbal abuse all day, when he is simply trying to get you all there safely, quickly and efficiently. So the next time you are on a road trip, don’t act like a little entitled bitch. 

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Sunday, July 29, 2012

Hot Women of the Olympics? No thanks. I'll pass.




I just wanted to throw up this opinion piece real quick. I was watching the Olympics and a few things came to mind. I saw an “exclusive” report documenting the “hot women of the Olympics.” So I decided to see what these “hot” women were about. After much research, I have come to one conclusion: athletic women are not only unattractive, they are physically gross. Mainly because female Olympians have almost no fat. No fat means no boobs, butt, etc. So, basically they have the body of a ten year old boy. And if you like that, stop reading and deep-throat a shotgun. Running your hands over their body probably feels exactly the same way as the guy who has to oil up bodybuilders before competitions. In a blind oil-rubbing test, I bet you couldn’t tell the difference.

So, to prove my point, I am going to post a few pictures of Olympians and explain why female Olympians aren’t anything to lust over. And yes I know these are people from different Olympic years. 


Amanda Beard
She is a swimmer. Enough said. And her face is not attractive at all. Yet she was featured, high photo-shopped mind you, in Maxim. She is average looking and has the classic athletic body. All muscle tone, no curves or softness that most of us men like in women. Just imagine wrapping your arm around her. It probably feels akin to the beginning part of college wrestling matches where one guy grabs the other guy by the waist right before they begin. Just solid as rock. I just don't see any kind of way that would turn me on. 







Almudena Cid Tostado




Gymnast. The only thing attractive about her is that she can bend and contort in way that makes men ask the question, “I wonder what it’s like to fuck a girl in that position?” It doesn’t matter what you look like if you can bend and twist in weird ways because guys know only a few women can do this, so if you are lucky enough to be able to bang one, any will do. That does NOT mean you are hot or desirable at all. Trust us, we just want to experience what it is like to bang a chick while she simultaneously eats your ass. We don't want to marry you. Especially after what you let us do to you. Plus you have the body of a swimmer (see above).





Ana Ivanovik





Tennis. She has a really pretty face, but the body is nothing. There is nothing else to look at or grab. Having a pretty face is enough for most guys, but not me. I don’t want a pretty face to suck on and grab when I’m having sex. You know who else has pretty faces? Some fat girls. That doesn’t mean I want to bang them either. Tennis players don’t have nice bodies. Yes that includes Anna Kournikova. Also, Anna is ugly to me as well. 







Alicia Sacramone






Gymnast. Again, gymnasts have some of the grossest bodies ever. If you disagree, truly picture what her naked body looks like: solid muscle, firm pecs, large thighs…..pretty gross right? Unless you are turned on by masculine bodies.




Logan Tom







Volleyball. Just look at the picture. And this is from a popular men’s magazine. This is not hot. I'm sorry, but my integrity prevents me from allowing these women to be called hot just because they are Olympians. 




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Friday, June 8, 2012

Online Dating.......Just Keep Reading





Before I begin, I feel like it is important to note that, at the time of this writing, I am in a committed relationship. I have been married for a while now but have heard many stories, and seen many reports about online dating. Since I got married around the time the internet got huge (2006), I never had been privy to online dating. So, I wanted to explore the world of online dating, without actually dating anyone, and see what I could find.


The first thing that is almost immediately apparent is the ads. Almost every ad features pictures of "singles in your area" or "hot guys/girls around your age." Now, these ads don't sound too bad on their own and actually would appear to make sense. I mean, if you are on an online dating site, the ads should reflect things of that nature right? Well, in a perfect world where the businessman is honest, yes. In the real world of Capitalist America where everyone would stab their own mother in the face for an extra dollar, then no.


You see, what makes these ads particularly unnerving is the fact that each set of pictures (ads usually show a collage of pictures of the gender you said you liked) looks like the cover of Euro-trash Weekly. Every guy dresses in the smallest possible clothing, everything neatly trimmed and groomed and less hair than a 12 year old Thai boy. Or every guy has <1% body fat. Since when were these the "real men" women were looking for?






As a quick side note, I have heard it said many times that "every woman is a lesbian.....but some never act on it." What that means is that ALL women are attracted to other women sexually and some are also attracted to men. That is not to say that every woman has had a lesbian experience, but it implies that they all desire to, at varying intensities. For the sake of this argument, let's just say that it is true. (I mean, you can't turn the TV on anymore with "straight" girls making out with each other. Not that that means she is gay or is bad in anyway). These men look a lot more like women than men. So, in a weird way, women are attracted more to the soft, gentle fair skin person (typically a woman) than a hairy, burly man. Is there a connection? Maybe, maybe not.


But the fact is that most men, and especially Real Men, do NOT look like that. These ads mess up everything for Men. Real Men are strong, athletic, manly, rugged, etc. Some of us have six-packs, some have a keg. Some can skin a deer in record time, some can rebuild an engine. Real Men don't come pre-packed in some stay-fresh douche canister. We are such a rare breed, that often we walk among you unnoticed. Just kidding. Real Men stand out like a sore thumb. Because we command the control of the room, we are charismatic, funny, charming, don't talk a lot, etc. But these men in the ads all look like the same. They are so scrawny and trim that they make the original Ken doll look like the Incredible Hulk. (Ladies, there is a difference between muscle, and a skinny guy who does 30 sit-ups a day. That guy that is 5'8" 135 pounds isn't jacked or muscular, he is near death). These men in the ads literally look like carbon copies with different skin tones. (Usually variations of orange). Here are a few I found:






This was from a pretty common dating site. Straight one too. Yup.


Yeah, we all look like this guy ladies. Nope. No one stares at each other like that for that long.




This ad is honest at least. It says that we know you just look at the body anyway.


This is an ad for single women. You would think it would show the guy. I guess it shows that getting taken out is more important than who it is with.




One of the reasons it messes up things with men is that it makes women have ridiculous expectations. For some reason, the majority of women can't get over their own vanity and realize that only a tiny percent of people will ever be good enough to cover Elle or Vogue or Cosmopolitan (click here to see me crush Cosmo). Just like I know I will never (probably) be on the cover of Muscle and Fitness, UFC magazine, or Sports Illustrated. Men have heroes and envy athletes and celebrities, but we don't think these things are attainable so we don't spend the time worrying about it. Women watch TMZ, Extra, The View, etc and all these shows only further force women into believing that they are ugly unless they look like a holocaust survivor. And the thing is, women believe it. Even the smartest ones know that it isn't healthy and they do it anyway.


Men on the other hand won't risk our health to look like Ryan Gosling or whoever guy you think is ripped and hot. Because this is unrealistic and us Men know it. It is simple to us. We know that the majority of these people get paid to look that way. It is literally how they eat. Actors, athletes, models, trainers....these are the type of people you most commonly associate with "flawless" bodies. You don't see too many normal people with them because it is hard to look like that unless you have the time and money to look like that. That is why contestants get fat after leaving the Biggest Loser. Because now they have jobs again and families. They can't workout 6 hours a day with a team of personal trainers. The same rules apply. Back to the point. Women see these ads and believe that every guy on the site is going to look like Bradley Cooper. When they get there, they instead see something more along the lines of this:

This was a pretty common looking guy. I would say the average men on there looked like this. Not the build but just an average American Man. 


The rest looked like this guy. Definitely gay but will be closeted for a long time.

So why are women so disappointed when they punch in their zipcode and the guys online looks like the guys they see everyday at the grocery store, and all over real life? Ladies, it doesn't make sense right? That is what I want you to see. Logically, the same people online are the same people you work with, live around and shop with. This especially applies to when you search for a date "in your area." Unless you regularly see huge groups of young, tan muscular male models walking around your neighborhood frequently, then why would you expect to find them in your area online? Do you think they just workout at home, waiting for Miss Right to email their profile? Get real. 

And what's up with this need for men to be excessively groomed? We have all seen the guys with super small eyebrows, and manicured everything, no hair etc. This used to be for prima donna men but now regular soccer dads are taking to perfectly sculpting their face. I won't post pics because I have plenty here under the name "Unmanly." This phenomenon is becoming so popular that there is even a new movie coming out about it titled "Mansome." Check it out (or here):



Unnerving isn't it?

If you want to see some funny ass profile pictures, click here and here

But back to the ads. Just to further make men's lives miserable, these sites have unbelievably sexist stock photos. They put these pictures up of "happy" couples that supposedly met on the site. But here are a few of these pictures. Under I will say what about them is stupid. 

This picture really pisses me off because media has steadily tried to portray men as goofballs and idiots. We  might do this around our women, but if I lock eyes with another man, his ass is getting kicked.  

I hate these kind of pictures. Mainly because the girl is never behind the guy. I understand the concept (actually, I know exactly why men do this), but men like to feel boobs on their back too.



 Same. Look how stupid this guy is smiling. And what are they looking at?

This guy is definitely not hitting that. Strange brother and sister at best but probably a gay guy dating a straight girl. 



 I wasn't even sure what to do with this one. 
Another classic example of how selfish women are. The woman is getting all the attention via kisses. She is warm as hell because she is boss hogging the whole blanket, and doesn't have to worry about putting her hand out because he is holding both her cups. He probably holds it to her mouth too. Women say this is romantic yet get mad when I ask them to make me a sandwich. Anyone remember the scene in Titanic when the woman was hogging the whole door in the ocean and let Leo die. Real romantic ladies. There was room for two. Maybe that's why you died an old lonely lady. 


Strange. I don't recall seeing this part of (Insert any non-coastal city). This was in a search for Las Vegas singles site.  




Again, this is an ad geared towards single straight women, so why does it focus on a  woman with hard nipples? 

Look ladies. We love you but we aren't going to wax our whole bodies or act like one of your girlfriends with you. If that is what you want, be a lesbian. Or just do girly activities with your friends. You never hear me ask you to help me gut a deer or clean a fish do you? Then why the hell do I want to help you pick out a dress? Every one of them (except that green one) look good on you. I don't have to to shopping with you to support you and show you love. The fact that I spend days in the cold just so I could get us food should show you how much I care.

Men just want you to be realistic and rational, like we are. Believe us, we know you don't look anything like XXXXXXX, but we also know that if XXXXXXX lived in our town, we still wouldn't have a chance. We know you are hot and pretty close to as good as we can get, if not as good. And we are totally fine with that. We don't always need the next best thing. Men would be happy if they won 100 dollars. Women would be bummed that it wasn't more. That is the divide. Men are content with what life has blessed them with, women tend to want everything plus what their friends have. 

In one of the first pictures above, I mentioned how the media portrays men as goofballs and morons now. Well I was going to write about it but instead, just check it out here and here if interested. Also, fuck askmen. That website is not for men and it is not run by men. Fuckin bullshit but that is another story. 

Ladies, I can't stress this enough. Please, if you only learn one thing, make it this: When it comes to sending a man your pictures before a date, do not put up pictures or send pictures of yourself that make you look way better than you really do. Because as soon as we see you, we immediately think you are a liar. Also, it will make us get rude, REAL FAST. It isn't fair that you did not portray yourself accurately. If you hoped that we would get to know what type of person you are and would forget about the whole lying thing, then you are wrong because the mean ones will be rude as hell and just leave. The nice ones will suffer through the dinner and act nice but never talk to you again. It immediately shows that you are deceitful. First impressions last. 

Here is an interesting page I found for those interested, or already trying to date online. I wish I could write more on this section. But with no experience, I can only go off of what I see and read. 

Also, for those who hate the online dating experience, are pressed for time with regards to dating or haven't found anything else, match.com offers "offline" events in many areas. These events are typically a large social gathering of singles so you can enjoy each other and get to know each other in your area and comfortably; face to face. Google Match.com Stir Event or find more info here and here. There is even a Stir Facebook app. 

Lastly, I will leave you with some interesting facts about relationships. Courtesy of RandomHistory.com:

1.     Couples usually wait until six to eight dates before they are willing to enter into an exclusive relationship.

2.     Speed dating, invented by a rabbi from Los Angeles in 1999, is based on a Jewish tradition of chaperoned gatherings of young Jewish singles.

3.     The most common time for breakups is around three to five months.

4.     On average, it takes between 12 to 14 dates before couples will trade house keys.

5.     One in three teenagers have experienced violence in a dating relationship.

6.     In a survey conducted by MSNBC.com and Elle magazine, more than 31% of men said they dumped an overweight partner compared to 12% of women.

7.     Women who post a photo on Internet dating sites receive twice as many email messages as women who don’t. The same study found that men who reported incomes higher than $250,000 received 156% more email than those with $50,000.

8.     Match.com reports that 44% of its members in the United States have children.

9.     On free dating sites, at least 10% of new accounts are from scammers.

10.  If a man can’t decide what to wear on a date, he might want to wear blue. Studies show that women are attracted to men in blue.

11.  Ninety-two percent of single parents would rather date other single parents.

12.  Thirty-three percent of online daters form a relationship, 33% do not, and 33% give up.

13.  The online dating industry generates $1.8 billion per year and the matchmaker/dating coach business generates $260 million per year in the United States.

14.  The third week in September is National Singles Week in the U.S.

15.  According to the U.S. census, there are 95.9 million unmarried people in the U.S. of which 47% are men and 53% are women.

16.  Researchers at the University of Chicago found that people were twice as likely to find a date through friends and family than through the bar scene.

17.  Four out of 10 workplace dating relationships result in marriage.

18.  Psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania studied data from over 10,000 speed daters and found that most people make a decision regarding a person’s attraction within three seconds of meeting.

19.  One Manhattan matchmaker’s price begins at $20,000. If a match (marriage) results, a marriage bonus is expected.

20.  At 4M Multimillionaire Matchmaking Club based in Seattle, WA, clients are men who have made millions but are still single. The matchmaking service charges between $10,000 and $30,000 for men. Women pay around $250 to be listed as potential partners.

21.  In the online dating world, women are afraid of meeting a serial killer. Men are afraid of meeting someone “fat.” According to Ann Rule, about 3% of men are psychopaths, of which only a tiny percentage are serial killers.

22.  In a survey of 5,000 singles conducted by Match.com, 43% said fresh breath mattered the most before a date, 17% said stylish clothes, 15% said sexy fragrance, 14% said good skin, and 10% said great hair.

23.  Typically, dating specialists suggest waiting until the third date to cook someone dinner at home.

24.  Nearly 40% of men do not feel confident meeting a woman for the first time.

25.  Immediately after Tiger Wood’s affairs became public, men looking for discreet relationships on BeNaughty.com dropped by 47.5%.

26.  During the early twentieth century, dating evolved out of a courtship ritual where young women entertained male callers under the watch of a chaperone. By the 1960s and 1970s, “hooking up” increasingly replaced dating, mainly because the age at which people marry for the first time had begun creeping up.

27.  Studies show that schools, colleges, coffee shops, and malls are all excellent places to flirt because people are more open to meeting others in these places. Poor locations are restaurants and movie theaters.

28.  Studies show that before a man even speaks a word, the way he stands (whether he is slouching or not) counts for over 80% of woman’s first impression.

29.  Studies show that happiness is contagious and that potential dates find it hard to walk away from happy people. One of the biggest turn-offs during a date is negativity.

30.  Studies show that men are put off by groups of loud women. If a woman wants to get a date, she should break away from a loud group to give a man a chance to approach her.

31.  Mirroring, or repeating someone’s body language, often impresses a date because it subtly conveys interest to the other person. One should avoid copying every move, however.

32.  Body language studies show that revealing areas of the body that aren’t usually on display (such as the inner wrist, the inside of the upper arm, ankles, feet, inside calf muscle, and the nape of the neck) has an immediate effect on a date and shows an instant liking.

33.  If you want to create an instant link with a date, say his or her name at least twice in the conversation. This shows attentiveness and connectiveness.

34.  Studies show that remembering bits of information about a person and working them into conversations not only is highly flattering but also shows interest.

35.  Bad breath and bad teeth are an instant turn-off for potential dates. If deep dental cleaning doesn’t improve a person’s breath, he or she could have a stomach bacterium called H. pylori, which causes bad breath.

36.  Research has confirmed that women are more attracted to men who wear pheromone-based colognes or aftershaves such as 10X. Studies have also shown that women, who have a stronger sense of smell than men, are particularly attracted to musk and black licorice smells.

37.  Body type is important in attracting a date. Studies show that overweight individuals were perceived less favorably than thin or muscular people. Thin individuals were perceived as intelligent but fearful, and muscular individuals were perceived as being healthy, brave, and good looking.

38.  Top ten turn-offs for women include cystic acne, raggedy nails, flatulence and belching, missing teeth, body odor, bad breath, hairy nostrils, “man boobs,” “goofy” glasses, and hair “mistakes.”

39.  Depending on the type of women a man would like to meet, he should visit that type of clothing store. For example, if a man likes “outdoorsy” women, he should go to an outdoor clothing store.

40.  When a man first approaches a woman, she will base 55% of her initial impression of him on his appearance and body language, 38% on his style of speaking, and 7% on what he actually says.

41.  If a group of women are standing together but their eyes are wandering, they are likely to be looking for guys. If they each take a turn to break away from the group to head to the bathroom alone, they are on the prowl. If they are huddled together giggling, they are usually not interested in finding men.

42.  If a woman is interested in her date, she will often smile at his jokes, play with her hair, fidget with an object such as a glass, blush when he pays her a compliment, pout or pucker her mouth, stumble over words, or lean in towards him.

43.  Signs that a woman is not interested in her date include avoiding eye contact, faking a smile or not smiling, leaning away, answering in monosyllables, sagging her shoulders, looking at her watch, tapping her foot, or staring blankly.

44.  Beautiful women typically get more stares, winks, and harassment than average-looking women do, but they are also less likely to get asked out by average-looking men because those men tend to be intimated by them.

45.  The appropriate time to call after meeting a man or woman is hotly debated among dating experts. Typically, the ideal time to wait to call is two to four days, though no longer than four to five days. Calling too soon can appear desperate.

46.  Choosing exciting places for a first date increases the chances of the other person falling for you. There is a definitive link between danger and physical/romantic attraction.

47.  Worst places to go on first date include fast-food restaurants, your kids’ birthday party or school play, your parents’ house, strip clubs, X-rated films or swingers parties, a party where your ex will be, church activities, or window shopping.

48.  Dating specialists suggest that if a woman doesn’t return a call after two messages, she is not interested

49.  If a woman offers to pay for everything, chances are she isn’t that into the date. There’s an unspoken understanding that a man paying for everything is a form of “copulatory gift,” which is almost universal in all animal species

50.  Eye contact, or a “copulatory gaze,” is a primary and powerful tool for attracting a potential date for both men and women. However, the meaning of various types of eye contact differs from culture to culture

51.  Statistics show that trying to get a relationship to work with an ex doesn’t usually work. The case where it might work is if there were extenuating circumstances of the breakup, such as one of couple had been going through a family tragedy or moved

52.  In American society, when a man offers his date his palm face up, he is most likely deeply attracted to the woman. In fact, a human’s brain is wired to respond to hand gestures and hand shapes, though the brain’s response depends on the man or woman’s culture and ethnicity

53.  Research shows that men know they’re falling in love after just three dates, but women don’t fall in love until date 14.

54.  On average, daters will kiss on the second date.

55.  A recent AOL survey says that 40% of women view an appropriate time frame to wait for sex as being one to three months, while 35% of men think the third date is fine. On average, couples have sex within about four to six dates.

56.  Twenty-nine percent of Americans have had sex on the first date.

57.  It is hard for a man to strike up a conversation if there are just two women at a social scene because he doesn’t want the other friend to feel abandoned. So a woman who is looking to attract a date should bring two “wing women” with her.

58.  Talking to a bartender makes a woman seem more friendly and makes it easier for a guy to jump in on her conversation.

59.  A woman can increase the likelihood of a man approaching her if she uncrosses her arms, makes subtle eye contact, and smiles.

60.  Italian food is one of the most popular restaurants for a first date.

61.  Twenty to 40 million Americans have used online dating services. Nearly 50% of online daters are aged 18-34 and 24% are 35-44.

62.  On average, there are 86 unmarried men for every 100 unmarried women in the U.S., though the actual numbers vary according to region.

63.  New York and Washington have the most state residents who are unmarried, 50% and 70%, respectively. Idaho and Utah have the most state residents who are married, 60% and 59%.

64.  Approximately 48% of online daters reported that their breakups occurred via email

65.  On Match.com, 132 million winks are sent out each year and members go out on a six million dates per year

66.  eHarmony.com boasts that 236 of its members marry each day, accounting for 2% of U.S. marriages

67.  “Desperate” daters are typically always available, are clingy, need constant relationship status updates, fish for compliments, drop their standards, and rationalize bad treatment

68.  Over 50% of all singles in America have not had a date in more than two years.

69.  Five types of women that men tend to avoid are serial flirters, someone who talks about marriage too soon, clingy women, the party-girl, and a woman who talks too much or is drama queen

70.  Four common date blunders include showing up late, talking about yourself too much, revealing too much about your ex, and an obvious over-eagerness

71.  A man’s top dating fears include that a woman will come between him and his friends, won’t allow him free time, will turn out to be a stalker, won’t respect him, or will be too high maintenance

72.  Five common signs a man may be cheating in a relationship are that he accuses his partner of cheating, he’s extremely vague, he seems to be compensating by acting extra nice for no reason, he’s always at work, and his partner's friends drop her hints

73.  The curve of the counter in a bar is designed so other customers can easily “check out” other customers. Bars also purposely place mirrors to help create a larger sense of place and to allow a person to scope out other people behind them

74.  Signs that a man is about to break up with a woman include that he spends less time with her, he is no longer romantic, passionate kissing turns into quick pecks (particularly no kiss during sex), he fantasizes about someone else during sex, he pats her during a hug, and he tries to start fights

75.  An attractive online “About Me” section in your online dating profile often includes a brief description of what you are passionate about or thankful for, a couple of things your friends say about you, qualities you are looking for in a potential partner, the first thing people notice about you (other than appearance), how you spend your leisure time, five things you can’t live without, and the latest good book you’ve read

76.  Humans like mystery and “the chase,” so don't be too “available” to a date. Dating experts typically suggest not sleeping too early with a date because the longer the chase, the more likely love will blossom

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